


Maybe "You're getting out" weren't the words Mike wanted to hear after all...

by LittleMissKnowItAll



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, Getting Together, Getting out, Love, M/M, Prison, season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-07
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-13 14:11:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7979581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissKnowItAll/pseuds/LittleMissKnowItAll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mike's getting out, but he doesn't know how to handle this information yet. Luckily, he's not alone...and if Harvey has any say in it, he never will be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Restless nights and black town cars

**Author's Note:**

> I had a story in my head, yet when I put it to paper, this came out. Hope you like it anyway.
> 
> Mistakes are my own, Suits and it's characters sadly aren't. 
> 
> Chapter 2 will be added after the next episode (I'm trying to stay up-to-date for once)
> 
> As always, comments are greatly appreciated
> 
> Enjoy!

‘I love you’, Mike says and it feels so, so good to finally be able to say those words. To be able to smile and not feel a sadness in his stomach telling him this moment will soon be over. To see the blue sky up above and knowing that he could stay out here forever if he wanted to, as there was no cell for him to go back to. He smiles and shakes his head slightly, letting out a soft laugh. ‘I love you’, he says again, a slight look of surprise on his face at his own actions. God, he feels like a twelve year old schoolgirl. When he finally looks up at the person across from him though, he is met with silence. Silence and a very angry looking Harvey Specter. 

***

‘Mike…Mike, come on man, wake up. Mike!’ Stirring slightly, Mike opens his eyes to look at the hand on his shoulder. It takes a moment for his eyes to adjust to the light, although the voice is familiar enough for him to know whose it is.

Immediately sobering up, Mike sits up straight. ‘What’s wrong?’, he asks, now wide awake, seeing Kevin’s worried expression.

‘I was about to ask you the same thing. What the hell were you dreaming about man, I think you woke up the whole county’. 

Letting out a shallow breath, Mike sinks back against the wall and shakes his head to try and clear it. ‘I..I’m sorry, must have been one hell of a nightmare’. He tries to laugh it off, but Kevin isn’t buying it. 

‘Uhuh, you sure? I mean, not to go all Dr Phil on you but you seemed pretty peaceful until a certain someone made an appearance.’ At the confused look that crossed Mike’s face at that statement, Kevin let out a soft laugh. ‘You kinda talk in your sleep, names and random words mostly. But only sometimes. I’ve began noticing a pattern… So I’ll ask again, are you sure you’re ok? Did something happen? Is it the deal?’

Mike needs a minute to take it all in. Talking in his sleep? A pattern? What the hell has he been saying? God, he hopes he didn’t say anything confidential these past few weeks! Noticing Kevin’s stare, Mike quickly shakes his head. ‘No, no, everything’s good. I’m just trying to stay calm about the whole ‘getting out part’ until I actually get out of these gates. Sadly, my subconscious isn’t on board with that plan, so it seems.’ Noticing it’s still dark, Mike sneaks a glance at his alarm and sees it’s only 3.15. ‘I’m ok, really. Now go, get some sleep. I’ll try and keep my anxious mind in check.’, he laughs before lying back down and pulling up the covers. ‘As you know, kitchen duty waits for no man.’ 

Kevin grumbles something Mike doesn’t quite catch, but he thinks he hears a murmured ‘Specter’ in there somewhere. He decides to let it slide for now and tries to think of happy things. When those thoughts lead him to a certain man, a certain apartment, even a certain suit, he decided to leave that train of thought and go for counting sheep instead. He’s still counting when the lights come on and another day on the inside begins. 

***

After three sleepless nights, afraid of what might happen if he lets his thoughts go back to their usual happy place, Mike has had enough. He doesn’t know what to do, but he does know who to call. Borrowing Kevin’s phone again, who had actually suggested Mike call someone as he ‘looked like shit and clearly needed to get something of his chest’, Mike sneaks into the bathroom and dials the all too familiar number. 

‘What’s wrong?’ comes the immediate response from the other side after a single ring.

‘Who said something was wrong, can’t I just be calling to hear your sweet voice?’. Hearing Donna’s voice instantly made Mike feel better and a smile is threatening to split his face already. 

‘Charming… but no. I know you Mike. And I also know you wouldn’t be calling at this hour with a borrowed phone if you just wanted to hear about my day. So tell me, what’s wrong?’ 

It’s weird but hearing Donna’s concerned voice makes him feel better, loved. Donna’s a bit like the older sister he never had and although he never really wanted one, he is forever grateful that he got her anyway. 

‘I don’t know. I haven’t been sleeping well…or at all really. It’s just, part of me wants to celebrate the fact that I’m getting out in a few days. But it also feels unreal, like an elaborate joke. I’m afraid of going to pick up my stuff on Friday and hearing that it was all a prank, that I will be stuck here for two more years…’. He lets his voice drift off, cursing himself for sounding so emotional, so dumb. Part of him wonders why he had called Donna with his issues, part of him didn’t. Because as much as he loved Rachel, she wasn’t who he needed right now. Thinking about it that way, Donna wasn’t truly who he needed right now either, but she came close enough to the real thing…for now.

‘Mike, calm down. Its real, all of it. I promise, this time next week, you’ll be bringing me my favourite coffee with a smile on your freshly shaven face.’ Donna’s voice has gone soft, like a mothers, and he can’t help but smile at the fact that that simple sentence calmed him more than anything had these past few days. ‘Harvey’s been busy with the paperwork for days, trying to get you out as soon as possible. But you knew that already. Which leads me back to my first question Mike, what’s wrong? It’s not like you to worry this much’. 

Mike shakes his head, knowing Donna won’t be able to see it. He feels foolish, although he doesn’t regret calling, not really. He just doesn’t know how to tell her what’s going on inside his head. He knows Harvey’s doing everything he can, knows he has all these amazing people…friends…on his side. Yet there’s just something off. Maybe it’s him, maybe he’s the weak link in this all. He hears Donna’s steady breathing on the other side of the line and knows he hasn’t answered her question yet.

‘I wish people would stop asking me that’, he says softly before running a hand through his hair. ‘I… I gotta go. Thanks Donna…’. Not waiting for her reply, Mike hangs up and puts the phone away. 

Although he is able to go about his day better after having heard Donna’s voice…and yes, he knows how sentimental that sounds…the dream turned nightmare from days ago keeps nagging at him. Although he isn’t exactly sure if it was the nightmare itself or the love confession he’d made.

Don’t get him wrong, it wasn’t something new. Mike knew he loved Harvey, had known from the second he’d stepped into that hotel room the first time they met. He’d always been a firm believer in love at first sight, even if he didn’t dare admit that to anyone, and had fallen for its charm more than once. Although he’d never before fallen this deep. The first weeks working with Harvey had been strange, not just because of the massive lie they were living, but because he couldn’t read Harvey as he could read everyone else. So, Mike made the only realistic move he could make and after reading the signs (or lack thereof) coming off of Harvey, he’d put away those feelings.

Pursuing Rachel had helped in taking his mind of Harvey and he did truly love her, really. Just not as much as someone who’s planning on spending the rest of their life with someone should. 

Rolling over in bed for the millionth time this sleepless night, the fourth in a row, he sees a small blinking light underneath Kevin’s pillow. Good for him, Mike thinks, smiling to himself as he pictures Jill sending her husband a sweet message in the middle of the night to let him know they’ll make it through. Mike normally wasn’t this sentimental, or at least he liked to think that he wasn’t this chick-flick, but the thought of Kevin and Jill one day being able to live happily ever after made his eyes sting. He turned over once more, facing the wall. Trying to keep his breathing steady, he finally started drifting off. “Happily ever after…”

***

The next morning came quicker than Mike liked, but he couldn’t complain. The sleep had done him good, his face looking less sick and pale than it had in days, and he was actually happy. He’d gotten a good six hours of sleep during the night, undisturbed by nightmares. Getting up from his bunk, Mike noticed Kevin smiling at him from the other side of the room. 

‘Looks like someone finally got some sleep! Good to see you’re still among the living. You’ve uhhh…you’ve got mail”. With that, Kevin tossed Mike his phone. 

Although still sleepy, Mike caught it swiftly, before staring at the black screen for a second. A message, for him? Could that have been the light he saw blinking at midnight? Although a certain sadness washes over him at the thought that it wasn’t Jill, his curiosity brings a newfound feeling of giddiness with it. Clicking the centre button, the light comes on. He finds himself staring at a text. 

The paperwork just came through, I’ll be picking you up at 4 tomorrow.  
Don’t be late. Wear something nice. H.

It takes a moment for the contents of the text message to register with Mike. Kevin is saying something, but he’s not really hearing it. Kevin seems to notice as he gets up to put a hand on Mike’s shoulder. Mike registers the shadow looming over him, the hand on his shoulder, but he just can’t take his eyes away from the text. He’s getting out, Harvey did it. He’s getting out in a couple of hours! Finally, it all clicks in his head and he looks up, smiling slightly at Kevin, who smiles back. 

‘He really did it, huh’, Kevin says, sitting down on his bed again now that Mike has regained full consciousness. ‘You’ll be a free man in 9 hours’. 

Mike wants to shout it from the rooftops, tell every single person he can, but he keeps his enthusiasm down. Kevin is still stuck in here and rubbing it in his face just isn’t Mike’s style. Giving a quick nod to the phone in his hand, he tosses it back to Kevin with a soft ‘Yeah.’

The rest of the day goes by in a blur. His last kitchen shift before packing his stuff, saying goodbye to Kevin (it’s not a real goodbye as he’s determined to stay involved with Kevin and Jill’s case) and signing some paperwork before getting his stuff back and walking out through the big gates. 

The sun is bright and he’s already regretting his outfit, but it wasn’t like he had much choice. Putting up a hand to cover his eyes from the sun, the gates behind him close and it’s really over. He’s a free man.

‘Ready to go?’ a voice asks and Mike’s face splits into a smile. 

‘Not sure yet, I kinda miss the kitchen already’, Mike retorts, turning in the direction of the voice. And there he is. Harvey Specter, looking as sharp as ever, leaning against a black town car. Mike gives the car a once over, loving the familiarity of the situation before him. He can see Ray’s hands on the steering wheel, but the glare from the sun makes it impossible to make out anything else. 

Mike walks over to the car and, before he loses his nerve, puts an arm around Harvey’s shoulder. Harvey doesn’t seem to mind though as he puts both of his around Mike’s slender frame. One moment, one blissful moment, Mike can let go and let Harvey surround him. But, like all good things, the moment has to end and Mike pulls back, smiling. 

‘Good to see you kid’, Harvey says, before opening the door and stepping aside for Mike to get in. Mike can’t help but smile at Harvey’s choice of words as Harvey continues, ‘Let’s get you home’

The drive home is quiet, Mike and Harvey sitting in silence, letting the soft music from the radio fill the air. They don’t need to talk, never had that need to fill the silence and Mike is grateful for that as he wouldn’t know where to start. Looking out of the window at the beautiful buildings, bathed in sunlight, Mike feels Harvey’s eyes on him. He doesn’t think too much of it for the first couple of minutes, sure that Harvey is just checking for any new bruises or making mental notes on his haircut. Maybe Harvey isn’t even really looking at him, but at the world outside of his window. Maybe Harvey is staring without actually seeing anything, his mind filled with other stuff. Maybe, maybe, maybe, the list of options is endless. 

Taking a deep breath, Mike turns his head and finds his answer. Harvey is looking directly at him, the intensity of his stare taking Mike’s breath away for a second. The look on Harvey’s face is unfamiliar, yet not unpleasant. Mike’s just not used to being on the receiving end of long stares as they usually go out to the people’s he’s with in public like Rachel whenever they go out, or Harvey himself whenever they’re meeting with a client. He decided he likes it though, as he locks eyes with Harvey. 

‘I got your text’, Mike breathes softly, keeping his eyes steadily on Harvey. 

At this, Harvey smiles, taking his eyes of Mike as he shakes his head fondly. 

‘Hope I didn’t disappoint’, Mike adds with a steady voice full of newfound courage as he gestures at his outfit. 

‘Well, you’re no Neal Caffrey but it’ll do’, Harvey responds without missing a beat, mock disappointment fleeting over his face before it breaks out into a smile. He lets out a breath then, letting his eyes slip over Mike’s frame once more as he adds softly ‘God, I’m glad it’s over…’

‘Me too’, Mike says and it’s enough for now. It’s all they need to say and they both know it as they slowly resume their earlier positions and Mike goes back to staring out at over the city.


	2. Time to talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes: Food, feelings and conversations that are long overdue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and thank you for reading this fic!
> 
> As you might know, I'd waited with the second chapter until last weeks episode. Sadly, that episode really didn't help with the progress of this story at all... * Shakes fist* That handshake!
> 
> As always, comments are greatly appreciated! While on the subject of comments, I'd like to say a big thank you to everyone who took the time to leave a comment under the first chapter <3

Pulling up outside the apartment doesn’t feel as good as Mike had expected. Sure he’d missed his bed, his own bathroom, even the opportunity to walk over to the fridge for no reason at all at 3 at night. But those things didn’t outweigh the fact that it wasn’t the place he wanted to be at right now.

“Mike? Mike? Mike!” Harvey’s voice cuts into his thoughts and he looks up just in time to see a concerned look crossing Harvey’s face. “You okay?”

“What? Oh, uhm, yeah”, Mike croaks, his voice sounding rough, as if he’d just woken up. He coughs lightly, but Harvey doesn’t look convinced. He doesn’t say anything though, just continues to stare at Mike. Knowing Harvey won’t let it go, Mike sighs and looks down. “I don’t really feel like going in, you know? I don’t want to be here, right now…” 

Looking up, he smiles painfully before shaking his head. “Of course you don’t, how could you? I’m not even sure I know what I’m feeling…” Mike’s rambling. He knows he’s rambling, knows he must sound crazy right now. Rachel is up there, he should be taking the stairs two steps at a time. But somehow, this whole situation isn’t what it should be like. Somehow, it just feels…wrong. 

“Mike, hey”, Harvey says and Mike doesn’t think he’s ever heard Harvey’s voice sound that soft before. Looking up, he sees a small, kind smile on Harvey’s face. “I get it, okay. Just tell me where you want to go and we’ll go…” Mike is stunned. He had half expected Harvey to push him up the stairs and through the door onto Rachel. Instead, Harvey is staring at him with soft eyes and that now all too familiar concerned look on his face. 

“Could we just, drive around a little longer?” 

Before Mike has time to feel ashamed at how small he sounded just then, Harvey is talking to Ray and they’re moving again. 

They drive around for another hour or so, both men sitting in silence as they watch the city around them change. The sun has gone down and the streetlights have come on and it feels like a different world. The business people have all gone home, making room for couples and youngsters going out. 

Mike hasn’t looked over at Harvey in ages, face glued to the window, and to be honest, he doesn’t really know how to ever look at Harvey again. He’s ashamed about his actions, ashamed about his feelings but most of all, he ashamed about the fact that he is taking up Harvey’s day like Harvey doesn’t have better things to do. A weird, unpleasant feeling settles in his stomach as he thinks about all the things Harvey could have been doing tonight. Or more specifically, who. He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath, as he tries to clear that image from his mind. 

“You hungry?” comes the sudden interruption from Harvey. Mike looks over at the man next to him as his stomach grumbles lightly in response to the question. Harvey smiles and nods, before asking Ray to stop at the nearest restaurant. 

They are pulling up outside a sticky looking diner less than two minutes later and Mike is surprised to see Harvey getting out of the car. “Really, here?”, Mike asks, thinking about Harvey’s normal standards. Let’s face it, the place doesn’t look like it has a famous chef nor like it serves fancy aperitifs. It doesn’t even look like it serves any kind of fresh food, to be honest. 

Smirking, Harvey winks at him. “Come on Mike, ex-convicts can’t be choosers”. He doesn’t know if it’s the wink or the way Harvey says it, but Mike can’t keep in the laugh that escapes him. And just like that, his dark mood is broken.

The diner itself is nothing special, nor is the menu. But the service is good and there aren’t that many people inside so Mike isn’t complaining. Mike and Harvey sit down in a booth in the corner as Ray takes a seat at the counter. He’d planned on staying in the car, said he wasn’t hungry and that they had enough to discuss but Harvey wasn’t having it. After nearly physically dragging his ass out of the car, Ray had agreed to have a cup of coffee and some waffles at the counter. He had said something about back pain and tiny booths but Harvey and Mike both knew he did it to give them some privacy. And Mike couldn’t have been more thankful. 

They both ordered some coffee and pancakes. Plain ones for Harvey, chocolate chip for Mike. It wasn’t what Harvey had in mind when he’d thought about dinner, but he’d gotten so used to Mike’s obsession with breakfast foods that it didn’t surprise nor bother him. 

Taking a sip of his “coffee”, Harvey sits back to take a good look at Mike. Mike was staring out of the window…again, his new favourite past time apparently. Besides the sag in his shoulders, he looked good. Tired, but good. 

As if feeling Harvey was done with his physical assessment of him, Mike looks over and their eyes lock. It should be uncomfortable, sitting in absolute silence, just staring at each other. But it isn’t, far from it actually. Having Harvey close again feels good, even more so now that he’s a free man again. Mike could just reach out if he wanted to. And god, he wants to. But he doesn’t, of course not. This, right here, right now. This is enough. Right? …Right? 

It doesn’t matter anyway when the moment is broken as the waitress comes over with their pancakes. Looking down at his plate, Mike finds he’s a lot hungrier than he’d thought. It takes all he has not to moan loudly as that first bite reaches his tongue. After that, there is only one thought left in his mind. ‘More’

“Slow down”, Harvey says suddenly, chuckling lightly. It takes Mike a moment to fully focus on the situation and as he looks at his plate, he understands. Just a minute ago, there were 4 steaming chocolate chip pancakes. Now, there’s barely half a pancake left. Grinning, Mike puts down his knife and fork for a second to take a sip of his coffee.  
Putting his cup down again, he looks over at Harvey, who’s cutting up his pancakes with sickening precision. Knowing it will bug the hell out of him, Mike quickly picks up his fork and steals a perfect square of plain pancake off of Harvey’s plate. Instead of being annoyed like he usually is whenever someone touches his food, something Mike knows all too well, Harvey continues cutting before pushing the plate to the middle of the table. Seeing it as an offer he can’t refuse, mainly because he’s sure he won’t ever be in this position again, he quickly finishes his own pancake before continuing eating Harvey’s. 

“I’m sorry”, Mike says suddenly, as he puts down his fork again. Putting both hands on his cup of coffee, he looks up at Harvey again. “I bet this wasn’t the Wednesday night you’d planned for yourself huh?” 

At this, Harvey puts his fork down too and sits up a little straighter, catching Mike’s eyes. Mike knows his current posture all too well, it’s his “I’m going to make an important point right now and you’d better listen carefully” posture.   
“There’s nowhere I’d rather be right now”, he says and Mike finds it hard to breathe for a second. He knows Harvey hadn’t meant it like that, had meant it as a caring friend but it still does things to Mike. And now Mike has made it awkward by just staring at him. Silently cursing himself, he opens his mouth, not sure what to say next. Luckily, Harvey saves him. “Now eat your damn pancake and let’s get going. Ray was right, this booth is killing my back”.

“Okay, Old man”, Mike says, emphasizing the word ‘old’ as he picks up his fork again. He eats a few more squares before deciding he should really stop if he doesn’t want to risk a stomach ache. Taking one last sip of his coffee as Harvey gets out his wallet to pay for their meal, Mike realises he’s expected to go home after this. Sadly, his feelings towards the apartment and what waits for him there haven’t changed. And so, a little unsure, he asks: “So, where to next?”

Harvey is visibly surprised by the question as he blinks a few times before responding, “Uhm, where do you want to go?” And that’s it. No ‘Shouldn’t you go to Rachel?’, no ‘I have work in the morning’, nothing… 

And although Mike is grateful, he is also scared. Because the one place he really wants to go right now is Harvey’s apartment. To look out at the city from those big windows, to sleep in the guestroom which hasn’t been used by anybody but him in the past five years or so, to be surrounded by things that are just so Harvey. Deciding he’s gotten this far by being honest, he softly says, “Your apartment?” 

And it’s so much more than a question, so much more than an answer, it’s a confession. Afraid of Harvey’s reaction, Mike looks down at his now empty cup of coffee as Harvey says. “Okay, let’s go”. 

The drive over is quiet again, Mike’s eyes starting to droop as he looks out at the now quiet city. Pulling up at the apartment, Mike’s stomach still feels like a bag of bricks and he’s not sure how to behave anymore. Luckily, Harvey doesn’t seem to notice Mike’s inner turmoil as he unlocks the front door and turns on the lights.

The apartment is exactly as he remembers it. Clean and modern, yet homely and 100% Harvey.

“You want something to drink?”, Harvey asks as Mike goes over to the window. God, he’s missed this. 

“Is it, is it okay if I stay here tonight?”, Mike asks turning around to face him, ignoring Harvey’s question. 

“Why do you think I sent Ray home?”, Harvey says, pouring himself a drink before continuing, “I’ve already texted Rachel, told her you’d be coming home tomorrow morning. I didn’t tell her when exactly you’d be getting out so…” Harvey says, and is that embarrassment on his face? 

“Thank you”, Mike says, letting out a soft sigh of relief as he turns back towards the window. And he means it. For everything. 

“If you don’t mind, I’m gonna go to bed”, Harvey says after a while. And he’s so much closer now, Mike notices, as he feels a warm hand softly squeeze his shoulder. “You know where everything is” And with that, Harvey is gone and Mike is left alone. He doesn’t know how long he stands there, just looking out at the city below. He just knows that it’s time to get some sleep as he sees the clock on the oven reach 2.30. 

Mike wakes up around 9.30 the next morning, blinking at the sun coming through the windows. He knows he’s alone, knows Harvey is at work by now but it doesn’t feel weird because it doesn’t feel like he’s in someone else’s house. 

Walking over to the kitchen to grab himself a cup of coffee before showering, he sees a neatly scribbled note stuck to a mug:

 

Talk to Rachel 

 

Mike turns the note over in his hand, hoping he missed half of the message somewhere. Nothing. Talk to Rachel, that’s it? Deciding he doesn’t feel like coffee anymore, Mike walks back to the guest room. Walking over to the bathroom, he notices clothes hanging over a chair. ‘Were they there last night?’, he wonders as he picks up the shirt, then the trousers. They’re new, they’re nice and they’re Mike’s size. And Mike is not ready to think about how or why they got there. He just wants to take a shower, hopes it will clear his mind.

It doesn’t. Putting on the new clothes brings on a whole new set of thoughts to process. Thoughts he can’t deal with right now. No, the only thing he has to deal with right now is going home, his real home, and talking to Rachel.

The taxi ride is far too short to come up with a good way of saying all the things he wants to say. He just knows that he has to say them. And so, he puts the key in the lock and waits. Part of him hopes she isn’t there, pat of him wants to just get this over with. The second part seems to win as soft footsteps make their way over from the kitchen while Mike looks around the living room. 

“Mike?”, Rachel says before flinging herself at him. She’s crying as she holds on tight, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. And it feels nice, having her in his arms again. He kisses her hair, hoping it will make him feel something, anything. But it’s just that, nice. He’d bet it would feel the same to hug Donna or maybe even Jessica (as if he’d ever be so lucky). They sit down on the couch and stare at each other. Before long the silence turns awkward and Mike can’t help but think back to all the wordless conversations he’s had with Harvey before, how they never turned awkward or uncomfortable. 

As if reading each other’s minds , they both speak up at the same time, “We need to talk”. 

Gesturing for Rachel to go first, Mike sits back, unsure of what she’s about to say. “I’m sorry”, she starts as a single tear rolls down her cheek. “I’m sorry I didn’t do more to get you out. I’m sorry...”

“Don’t be. It’s over, I’m out. I’m a free man again thanks to Harvey.” And yes, he sounds a bit like a proud wife right now but he doesn’t care, not anymore.

“Harvey, yes”, Rachel says almost painfully before shaking her head softly, “But it should have been me too, right? Harvey and I could have worked together…should have worked together. I’m the best goddamn paralegal around and I…I didn’t do anything. I barely came to visit you after the first few weeks, barely took the time to see how you were doing. Doesn’t that bother you at all?” And she’s crying now, softly shaking as she shifts further back on the sofa, creating more distance between them. 

“Rachel”, Mike says, willing her to look him in the eye. It takes a moment but she finally lifts her head. Putting on a brave face and a kind smile, Mike decides to just come out with it. “It was all a bit too much, for both of us. You never signed up for all this and I know that. I never expected you to stick with me through it all and to be honest, I really don’t blame you for any of it. I don’t blame you for not helping Harvey, for not being there every time I needed you….and I don’t blame you for moving on”. 

At this, Rachel lets out a shaky breath before opening her mouth. And Mike knows what she’s going to say, knows she’s going to deny it. But he’s done with all of this, done with the lying and covering up of feelings just to stay in this commitment because it’s comfortable. They deserve to be happy, both of them. “It’s okay, really. We just weren’t meant to be.” And Rachel just nods. 

He doesn’t know if it’s a defence mechanism or not when Rachel turns professional and distant almost immediately after, but either way, he doesn’t mind. They discuss living arrangements and possessions for a little while before Rachel says she has to go meet Jessica to discuss something pro-bono related. They hug shortly and then Rachel’s gone. He’d told her to keep the ring and the apartment. It never truly felt like his home anyway.   
He packs two bags, putting in as much clothes as he can, before closing the door one last time, at least for now.

As if on automatic pilot, he goes straight back to Harvey’s apartment. The door man doesn’t even blink an eye at the full bags he’s carrying as he lets Mike in and tells him to go over to the concierge. Confused, Mike walks over to the man behind the desk. 

“Ah, Mr Ross, I’ve been expecting you”, the short man says as he reaches into a drawer to get out a key. “Mr Specter told me to give you this”   
Thanking the man, Mike takes the key and looks at it. It’s the key to Harvey’s apartment, a key Mike has seen many times before. Never has he owned it, though. And how the hell had Harvey known he’d be coming back? 

***

After going up to the apartment, Mike had dropped his bags in the guest room before lying down on the bed again. He tried to clear his mind, to relax after the seemingly big event from this afternoon. What he hadn’t meant for was to fall asleep. 

A soft knock on his door wakes him and he blearily rubs his eyes before checking the alarm. 18.15, the bright red numbers blink at him. It takes a moment for the actual time to make it to his brain as the door behind him softly opens. 

“Mike?”, asks a familiar voice from the doorway, “Mike, you up?”

And yes, Mike did think about feigning sleep for a second. But it would be of no use. He had to face Harvey at some point. “Yeah, sorry, I must’ve fallen asleep”, he croaks out, turning around to face Harvey. 

And wow, okay, nothing could have prepared him for this. He’d seen Harvey in regular clothes before, but it had been a while and wow, that man really would have made a great model, no Photoshop necessary. 

Stepping inside, Harvey leans against the doorpost, a concerned look on his face. “Want to talk about it?” 

“Not really”, Mike says, letting out a humourless laugh before siting up. “It’s officially over, what’s there to say?”

But Mike isn’t getting rid of Harvey that easily. He knows that, knows they need to talk just as badly as he and Rachel did. “Can I just have a minute, change out of this suit and all that? I’ll be out in five, okay?” 

Harvey nods, before turning around and closing the door. After taking a moment to breathe, Mike gets up to rummage through his bags, looking for sweatpants and a t-shirt. After changing, he goes into the bathroom to look at himself in the mirror. His hair is sticking out at odd angles and his face looks sleepy but he feels more like himself than he has in days. 

Harvey is already sitting in a chair in the living area, drink in hand, when Mike finally leaves ‘his’ room. He notices a drink on the table next to the other chair and gratefully takes a sip as he sits down.   
“So…”, Harvey says, looking over at Mike, ‘How are you feeling?”

“God, let’s start with an easy question shall we?”, Mike says before letting out a deep breath. “This is going to sound so wrong but I feel good, free. We were never going to work out, this whole prison business just sped up the process…”

And Harvey is quiet, looking at Mike with an oddly thoughtful expression. So Mike continues, “We were just together because it was comfortable, you know. I never really wanted to face the facts that we weren’t really in love, not until this whole situation took that truth and shoved it in my face. But I’m glad it did. If there’s one thing I ‘ve earned from this whole experience, it’s that not being with the person you love is better than being with someone you don’t love” Wait what, Mike’s brain starts shouting at him as he downs the rest of his drink in one go. If he acts quickly, throws in a laugh and a remark about sleepiness, Harvey might let it go. 

Sadly, he doesn’t even have to look at Harvey to know it’s a lost cause as he hears him take a deep breath. “You mean that in general?” And Harvey’s voice is soft, so soft Mike almost hadn’t heard it over the sound of his own heartbeat. 

Mike has a couple of options now. He can change the subject by bringing up the fact that he gave Rachel the apartment and needs a place to stay, he can make a joke out of it all, he can even lie. But he doesn’t want to, not anymore. He started this all those years ago and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t finish it. So he locks eyes with Harvey and takes the leap. “No, I don’t. I mean it quite specifically actually. And I think you already knew that”. 

In a blur of movement, Harvey is in front of him, cupping his face upwards as he softly places his lips on top of Mike’s and all his thoughts and worries go out the window. Because this is it, this is the moment that changes their lives forever. 

Breaking the kiss for a second, Mike gets up and places his hands firmly on Harvey’s hips before claiming those lips again. Harvey pours all his feelings into the kiss, into the hand on Mike’s cheek, into the way he steps even closer to Mike. Softly breaking the kiss by leaning back, Mike can’t help but laugh at the small groan leaving Harvey’s lips at the loss of contact. Turning serious again, Mike waits until Harvey’s eyes focus back on him before whispering, “It’s always been you, always”.

And that would have been enough for Mike. He just needed Harvey to know how he felt, how he’d always felt, not expecting any verbal response from Harvey. He knew that Harvey was good with words until it came down to discussing feelings. And he was more than happy to let Harvey tell him how he felt through his actions. 

What he hadn’t expected was Harvey’s bright smile, Harvey’s hand slowly moving down to the side of his neck, Harvey opening his mouth. What he hadn’t expected was for Harvey to whisper back at him, “Damn, I’ve been waiting to hear those words for years” before kissing him again. And he certainly hadn’t expected Harvey to whisper, “God, I love you”, into his ear less than a minute later. 

 

Needless to say, Mike doesn’t sleep in the guestroom that night. Or any night after, for that matter.


End file.
